Before the internet I would have idly speculated about where politicians’ staff get those gigantic golden scissors for cutting ceremonial ribbons. Now the problem is entirely different: not where but which ones? How much? Nah, that pair looks cheap af. Red? Blue? I don’t need a whole kit. Wait, those ones aren’t ALL gold! Wtf, ROSE gold?! That model must have tiny hands. GMAFB, half of these were made by the same damn company. Oh, OK these look good: “Premium Tailor Scissors,Heavy Duty Sewing Scissors Gold Titanium Coating Stainless Steel Fabric Scissors Leather Comfort Grip Shears Professional Ultra Sharp Cloth Tailor Scissors 10.5 In—” Hold on, those ones are like TWO FEET — now you’re talkin’. Cognitive colonialism.